Fork in the road...

So, I'm at a figurative fork in the parenting road. See, the past 2 and a half months of Meredith's life, I've been subscribing to the "feeding on demand" school of thought as I agree(d) with the books that say that newborns and young infants cry to communicate needs and that they're too young to be scheduled. They're also too young to use crying to communicate wants, ie they can't be "spoiled" by feeding on demand because they cry only because they need to be nursed or fed.

So, I've been popping out the boob whenever she starts rooting, sucking on her fist or smacking her lips (all classic hunger cues), all of which happen VERY often. It turns out that I'm nursing, oh, say probably every other hour and a half or so on average. And each time for about 20 mins. You do the math cos my sleep-deprived brain is so fried that I can't.

I was watching "Mum's the Word" on Discovery Home and Health (can you say "mommy" tv?) and they managed to train a 6 week old to sleep through the night by scheduling his feeds and nap time.. all in a week's work. I watched it and began to salivate at the thought of 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. See, I'm not greedy, I don't need to sleep through the night (most sources say breastfed infants under 6 months will need around 2 feeds a night and probably one night feed until they hit 1). I just would like to have a stretch of good, uninterrupted sleep. And sleep where I'm not half-asleep because I'm worried about rolling over the baby or that she's turned and smothered herself in bedding. Unfortunately, since she's currently refusing to sleep anywhere but our bed, both of those are possible scenarios.

So the show got me thinking about how nice it would be to have Meredith on some sort of schedule and if she's old enough to be put on some sort of schedule (most sources say not to schedule a baby under 2 months of age but she's past that). I've been reading all these articles/forums on "attachment parenting" vs "scheduling".. and so far the vast majority seem to be in favor of AP. I suspect it's likely to do with the fact that the kinds of parents that would be online and commenting on forums and writing articles are younger and hence likely to subscribe to the more newfangled approach of AP.

The thing is that I personally cannot bear to see her cry her heart out when I know all it takes to soothe her is me nursing her. But I'm seriously getting worn down by never knowing when her next feed is or when her next nap is and how long it'll last and thus not being able to do anything else. And when I nurse her I can't do anything else. By the time the husband gets home at night, I'm completely frazzled and on the verge of a breakdown. And this is with my mom coming to help out for at least part of the day. That at least gives me some time to eat and hit the bathroom. Meredith will not let us put her down. She has to be carried all the time.. and it's seriously tiring. My mom's completely worn out too by the time she leaves.

So, I'd love to hear any advice. It's a toss up.. on one hand, I'd love to have scheduled nap times and feed times but on the other hand I don't know if I can bear the crying.. and I'm wondering if she's too young to be scheduled? Any thoughts?