cats and dogs

man, it's dumping rain out today. let's just hope that it doesn't pour like this on sunday at the little one's first month celebration since that's going to be at the poolside. *crosses fingers*

time passes soooo quickly. can't believe that meredith will be a month old this coming monday. time flies! can't believe selene is going back to school this coming saturday. boy. what ever happened to her 2 mths at home? wow.

speaking of time flying, i need to get some administrative stuff taken care of. need to apply for my extended leave. have decided to try and take as much time off as i can this year - enjoy meredith while i can, and hopefully things'll be a little more settled by the time i go back to work. hopefully my leave application gets approved.

everyone's bustling to get arrangements done for the first month celebration. who knew that one little get-together could get so many ppl all worked up? there's cakes to order, food to cater, function rooms to book, vouchers to buy, etc... my mom decided that meredith didn't have anything to wear for the big day (everyone was over-ambitious and bought her bigger clothes so she has nothing to wear for right now.. er, does anyone else but us realise she probably has NO CLUE what she's got on???) so she decided to go buy her a dress for this sunday. will upload pics once the big day's over.

ok, going to go to the bathroom since she's asleep..

Time Trial

Kale here - So yes, as Denise said, I had a good race. No pictures from me either because riding a time trial is hard enough, taking pictures would be impossible.

The race, hmm, where to start. The organizers decided that they'd have a crack at being creative with the start list and while I was at first a bit perplexed with their order, it soon became apparent that they made up their own method. Normally, time trial order is based on some current or prior ranking, with last place going first and first place starting last. Since the advantage is normally to start last, it at least has a method to it. So, how did the organizer do it? Alphabetical. By first name. Yeah. Logical right? Ka....put me right in the middle. Thanks Mom and Dad for not naming me Alex or something like that.....

Anyway, i showed up at about 8.30 for a 9.48 start and tinkered around a while doing the usual pre-race stuff (toilet, change, warmup) until about 9.40 when i went to loiter at the start area. The rain had been holding off through the morning but by my start it started to drizzle. By the half way point of my first (of three) laps it was pouring. And windy. Think Slanted rain.

At the end of my first lap i got the time and it was already 55 seconds down. Ouch. So i know i'm not winning, but i also didn't know if i was 2nd, 3rd, last, whatever. By the end of the 2nd lap i passed my minute man, the 2 minute man, the 3 minute man and I also found out that the guy 4 minutes ahead broke his handlebars and stopped, and the 5 minute guy had a flat and was now behind me. So far so good. Considering there were only 15 or so starters it was looking ok.

Came across in 51.30 or something. Miles behind first who clocked 49.10 but woo hoo, it was good enough for second. Third place was at 52.40 or so and the rest were closely stacked around there.

I certainly would have liked to win but you do what you can. I'm thinking the last month was sort of a 'month long taper'...But as I told Denise, even on a good day I'd be ok with 2nd behind the winner since he absolutely flies! My team ended up with 2nd, 3rd and 5th so not bad on that front either. Next up, the Team Time Trial!

Kale

time trial..

so kale went for his first bike race as a father this past sunday. he didn't do half bad given that he hasn't really been training since the short one showed up. just doing shorter rides a couple of times a week.

no pictures this time around cos i was at home with the baby.. but like i said, he did good and was happy with the result. will leave the man to update on the race..

maybe she knew...

that i was at my wits' end because she slept for a good 3.5 hour stretch last nite from 1 to 4:30am. phew. such a luxury. only problem was that i kept on waking up after 2 hours or so to check on her cos i was a little worried that she hadn't started asking for a feed!

list o' gripes

just because.

- i'm exhausted and all i want to do is sleep in but that's not going to happen in the next, oh, say, 4 months?
- my boobs are soooo sore. the little one is like a little barracuda!
- my hands are peeling from washing them so often
- i'm suffering from cabin fever
- i have lost my sense of humor

amazing how one little baby can change your life, eh?
give me a couple of hours and i think i'll be back to normal. but for now, indulge me as i wallow in self-pity.

of poop and pee

i seriously think we should go buy some stock in the diaper companies.

this kid runs through diapers like you wouldn't believe.
AND she has this uncanny knack for pooping and peeing DURING a diaper change, which usually results in soiled clothes, a wet torso and an unscheduled bath. sigh.

those one-piece sleep romper thingies? a neat idea for keeping the bambina warm, but oh-so-not-practical for diaper changes. she's managed to soil every single one she's had on during diaper changes. dude...

passport photos

ok, so in order to get l'il Ms B her very own passport, we first had to get her a usable passport photo. and the criteria as set by the passport people?

- looking at the camera
- eyes open
- white background
- both ears visible

how on earth do you get a 3 week old baby to cooperate so that you can get a picture of her with her eyes open (easy enough when she's hollering her heart out, but not quite the picture perfect smile you'd want on her passport) AND her looking at the camera?

hence here are a couple of the attempts to get a good pic. i'm glad to inform you it all worked out and we managed to get 1 picture that works.. but yeah, it was an interesting exercise to say the least!

crap, this is tough

i totally take my hat off to all those mothers who have breastfed and who continue to do so. i've been *this* close to giving up numerous times, and meredith's just barely 2 weeks old! my boobs have been thru hell and back, and i have a baby who seems to want to multi-task - i.e. suck on her fist AND my boob at the same time. i've tried explaining to her that i can't latch her on when her fist is in the way, but she's not quite comprehending the logic behind that quite yet. it takes 2 to latch her on - someone else to hold her hand back and me to hold her and position her. sigh. when will it stop being a struggle to feed her?

i honestly feel tied down to this baby. i'm insecure about leaving the house because i haven't quite figured out how to latch her on without baring my boob. and while i'm totally ok with baring my boob to anyone and everyone (can you tell my concept of privacy and personal space has gone out the window after having so many ppl manhandle my boobs and watch me feed? yeah...) i can imagine that a total stranger may find it rather offensive to see me nurse in public. so basically i stay at home all day with the baby so i don't have to risk it. and it also means being on call 24-7.. thru all the nite feeds too. *yawn*

we went out to dinner last nite.. and thankfully she slept all the way thru dinner so i didn't have to feed her till we got back. but man, it's constantly on my mind. plus i now have a new phobia - of having my nipples crack and bleed like they did on day 3. thank goodness for the lactation consultant or i would have given up right there and then. it was money well spent, i say.

anyhow, this post is for all the moms-to-be that i know that want to breastfeed - i just wanted to give you a heads up that it's not all rosy like they paint in the books and videos. and all the gear in the world will not prevent sore nipples, i kid you not. so please don't feel like you're incompetent and that everyone else has it figured out. i wish someone had pre-empted me about how hard this was going to be. i would have been a whole lot less depressed and frustrated. but yes, i do recognise the benefits of breastfeeding and for that reason alone, i'm trying my damndest to stick with it.. but man, like i said, i have a new-found respect for all those women who went before who have breastfed. it takes perseverance, i tell you. i just need to find some. can anyone tell me where?

*groan*

first b'day as a dad!

it was the hubby's 28th bday yesterday - the whole family went out to dinner to celebrate. it was meredith's first dinner outing so we dressed her up for the occasion.. here are some piccies from the big day...

more pics!

Velcro baby!

the 2 grandmas took the baby out to a nearby park for some sun on wednesday morning in an attempt to reduce her jaundice. here are some pics from the morning out..
the proud US grandma..
she intertwined her fingers all on her own!!

playing dress up!

here's the lady of leisure, chilling out in her sunday best. =)

the dress is actually one that i wore when i was a baby. if i'm not wrong, i have a similar shot of me in a bonnet and the dress with my tongue sticking out too. heh. need to go dig it out.

like father, mother, like daughter!
*muak*
mom and babe
hear no evil

musings..

so the mother-in-law's here, and the baby's asleep.. so i have some "me" time to reply to comments and catch up on blog reading.

i have to say that this whole parenting thing is way tougher than i expected. i mean, i knew it was tough, but i figured with all the reading and prepping i'd done, that at least i'd have SOME clue about what to do when. but no, babies do NOT come with a manual, and all that reading doesn't really prepare you for the nighttime marathon nursing sessions where you feel like a zombie and your boobs have been beaten into submission.

nor does it prepare you for the worry when you find out your baby's jaundiced and you panic that you're not doing everything you can to help her get over it - you watch the sky like a hawk to watch out for every ray of sunshine. and curse it when it's overcast or rains (everyday so far this week). your day becomes a series of watching the clock to time feeds and counting the number of poopy and wet diapers. in "work speak" - you begin checking for "output indicators" of the success of her feeds - the color of the poop and pee, the consistency and the number of diaper changes. phew. i am now well-versed in all the variations in the color "mustard". all in an attempt to make sure she's getting all the nutrients she needs and to ensure the bilirubin is flushed out of her system.

i can honestly say that i totally understand the concept of unconditional love now. it's not to say that i wouldn't have done anything for kale, i would lay down my life for him... but being a parent is completely different. i would honestly give everything up for her. your whole life revolves around her. and while yes, i admit sometimes i do resent that i have NO time to myself.. but it's all worth it when you look at her adorable chubbiness and those bright eyes. you want to protect her from all the bad, bad things that exist in the world. you want to envelope her in your arms and keep her safe and never let her go. it's one heck of an emotional rollercoaster.

ok, gotta go. baby's calling...

How it all went down...

So here's how baby Meredith popped into this world.. warning, long post.

03/08 - went to see gynae for regular check-up. baby was 3.1-3.3kg as estimated by ultrasound scan. doc said cervix was still at 1cm, but had effaced more. after some discussion, she said there was little point in waiting it out much longer since i was already past 37 weeks, baby was a good size, and i was already effaced. decided to induce on 7th Aug if nothing happened before that. came home from doc's appt.. started cramping REALLY badly. thought it was after-effects of the internal exam from the doc so didn't think much of it. contractions were pretty regular, and kale could feel them coming on just by how my tummy was tightening. decided to just ignore it and go to sleep since i was pretty sure it wasn't anything.

04/08 am - woke up, and baby wasn't moving much. figured i'd go have some breakfast since baby's not really a morning person anyhow. had breakfast but by 11am, baby still hadn't moved. started getting worried. decided to call the hubby to ask for advice. called gynae's office and was told to come down to be monitored on CTG machine.

12pm- mom comes by to pick me up after golf game.. we load all the maternity bags and stuff into car (at this point i think i was just being hopeful since i didn't really expect this to be IT - thought it was yet another false alarm). panicking a little cos baby still wasn't moving. started prodding and poking my belly to move her.

1-2pm - after being hooked up to machine, baby's heartbeat is fine, but movements are really much lessened. i'm also having regular but mild contractions. gynae says that since the baby's quiet, and i'm around 2-3cm dilated, we might as well go ahead and admit me. won't be considered being induced since the contractions have already started naturally. place the call to the hubby and ask him to bust out of work.

3pm or so (getting hazy) - checked into delivery ward. found out my ex-colleague and friend was next door well into her labor too. both of us hooked up to machines so we talked on the phone. hah. contractions still manageable. begging for food cos i hadn't eaten since 11am (yes, the pig that i am). nurses said to wait for doc. sigh.

4:30pm - gynae came in, said i'd dilated more (can't remember, think it was 4cm), broke the waterbag and hooked me up to oxytocin. kale went down to pharmacy to get something. doc said toast and milo was ok.

4:50pm - all goes downhill from here. in severe pain. contractions killing me. called kale to come back up. nurse gave me laughing gas while waiting for anaesthetist to arrive. couldn't even bother with the food when the nurse came in to ask about it.

4:55pm - wondering what in the hell is taking the dude so long. writhing in pain. grr. laughing gas is pointless. just regulated my breathing. cursing and swearing in between whining.

5 plus - anaesthetist finally arrives, asks kale to leave the room, administers epi. my legs go numb but can still feel contractions so he upped the dosage. entire lower body feels numb. can't control my legs. they flop around a WHOLE lot.

the next few hours go by in a haze.. felt nauseous and out of it. remember gynae coming in again at 6plus saying i was progressing well. remember hearing a baby cry in the hallway, so assumed my friend had delivered. remember asking for epi to be dialed down cos i really couldn't feel anything and the lead feeling in my legs was making me motion sick (don't ask why, i don't know either)

9:30pm, gynae comes in, says she can see the head, but still a little high up - wants me to start pushing. threw up after first push. my worst nightmare. nurses coach me on pushing - they watch for the contraction, tell me to breathe in and bear down. only problem? er, i can't feel anything at all. no idea if i'm pushing or not. sigh, all the preparation i'd done on using the right muscles to push? all for nought. without a feedback loop, was just pretty much shooting in the dark. dialed down epi some more so could begin to feel contractions in the top of my belly.

10 plus - gynae comes in, says still need to push, baby still high. nurses say i'm not pushing hard enough. i'm still saying i have no clue what the *beep* i'm doing. doc finally says that the outlet is a little tight for the head (ie my non child-bearing hips result in a small pelvic opening, and baby's head is a little big). need to try with forceps since baby may be a little stressed. doc tries to make sure she can actually find the baby's ears so she can use the forceps, then tries to fit forceps in. success. now we wait for a big contraction. of course, when u want it, it doesn't come. so nurses wait, i wait, doc waits.. yeah.... she says if this doesn't work, then we have to go for a c-section. by this point, i don't really care as long as they get the baby out.

contraction finally comes, i push, the nurses push down on my belly on either side of me, and kale says the doc basically leaned in and yanked on the forceps. all i remember hearing was "and there's the head" and me wondering - where's the characteristic wail you hear on tv? then "there's the body, one more push"... and then "you can cut the cord if you want".

baby meredith was put on my chest, and all i remember thinking was - she's heavy. and my first words? "it's a baby!". duh.

baby was weighed, cleaned up and put on my chest again. all i could think of was - erm, you'd better take her, cos i think i might throw up again and i'd heard my friend tell me how she almost threw up on her newborn. yeah. so they cleaned up the baby, the doc spent what felt like eternity stitching me up... i almost kneed her in the head cos my leg was flopping around. and yes folks, i threw up again. my worst nightmare times 2.

kale cuddled the baby while i lay there in a haze - they weighed the baby, kale was pretty amazed to see the weight zoom past 3.3kg. took the baby out to see my folks. my sis was bouncing off the walls.

but in hindsight, it was well worth it - baby meredith is a gem, except when she's gnawing at my nipple for the umpteenth time in the middle of the night. but even then... it's amazing. altho, i don't really know what they're talking about when they say that you forget the pain of labor the minute the baby's put on your chest. i still remember it as clear as day - and it's been more than a week!!

ok, time to go see if i can catch 20 winks before i need to feed the lil squirt again.

Paparazzi shots of Ms B.

To satisfy the adoring public, here are more pics of lil Ms B and her stage crew. The hubby pointed out that her initials really are M.s. B. Hah. The paparazzi have been busy. heh.

Trying to get some sun in her crib
She's definitely our daughter!! heh
It's a tough life, but someone's gotta do it...
Told you she's definitely our daughter!
Unwrapping my "binder".. my attempt to recover my waistline.
Who is cuter? Meredith, Mom or the elephants? ha...
Relak relak in the afternoon sun...
Relaxing under cover of one of her countries....
Some say that pink really is her color!

joining the mommy bloggers club

ok, so this is denise.. finally made it onto the puter for some therapeutic blogging time.. probably won't be able to post as often (who are we kidding, right?) but yeah, thought i'd drop a quick one here...

1) thanks to all those who've sms'ed and left comments and emails... we promise to get around to replying them at some point if we haven't already. it's just been a little insane around here!!

2) being a mommy is kinda surreal.. still can't believe i have my own child.. and she's my daughter!!! eeps!

3) my little baby meredith is the cutest little baby in the world (pls allow me a moment of unabashed and biased mommy gushing!!)... she's so soft and smooth, and cute... and oh-so-edible.. i just want to eat her up (figuratively, of course, lah)!!! hee!

4) we're all still getting the hang of a feeding/sleeping schedule (read: no schedule right now, the world revolves around meredith's mood at the time - she's the BOSS!!!) this is worse than pulling all nighters for college!

5) watching kale with the baby makes me all goo-ey inside.. he's wonderful with her!! i'm freaking out a little about how i'm going to cope when he goes back to work!! eeks.

6) being a mom is amazing. honestly. even tho i'm sure i still haven't experienced 98% of the emotions yet, but it's still amazing.

ok, think that's all the time i have for now.. gotta go wake the baby for her next feed. *moo...*

will update with my "birth story" soon.. when i get a couple more minutes of "me" time.

More....

Kale again....Denise promises that she'll be back on here eventually but in the interim its up to me to keep grammie, grampie, and all the aunties and uncles happy with a few more pictures.......

They say our heads are the same shape.....
Milk anyone?
The family just got bigger
What are you looking at?
A very pleased Auntie!
Yes, they are soft!
On the way home. First time in the car seat.
Her favorite thing to do during the day. Sleep. Not so favorite at night.
Same same. Daytime sleep!
Little baby, big bed.

Meredith Su-wen Buonerba

Kale is hijacking the blog since mom has been a bit tired these past few days. I'm sure she'll be around with a lot more very soon, but until then I thought I'd post a note to say that mom and Meredith are both at home and doing well.

Meredith was born at 1039pm last Friday, 4th August and she clocked in at 3.58kg.

All i can say is wow. Really, it is amazing.

Until later,
Kale

just for laughs

we recently bought a safety gate - not to keep baby out of unsafe places (we're not THAT kiasu) but more to keep the cats out of the room where the baby's in.

the hubby temporarily put it up 2 nites ago just to check that there weren't any defects and that it fit across our door frame. of course the cats couldn't resist checking it out. bet chewe wished she had stopped eating a while back! haha.

now just to hope that kito doesn't realise she could *probably* jump across it. *crossing fingers*

Like the makeshift sign the hubby drew on the tag? heh

i'm still here...

ok, the blog silence unfortunately doesn't mean that i've gone into labor and that the short one has decided to grace us with her appearance. it just means that i was really bored at home, throwing myself a pity party cos, have i mentioned? i get really bored really easy and i'm really impatient? yeah... plus i keep getting woken up at nite with sporadic contractions that hurt like hell and falsely raise my hopes, reducing my ability to go back to sleep. sigh.

but well, i thought about this hard (or as hard as you can when you're half comatose in the morning) and have decided that i'm taking today easy. i figure i should enjoy the fact that i'm off work and home. so i have a task list for today - clear my work emails cos i'm having some IT Issues, watch a video i rented while pigging out (speaking of eating, mom just dropped by with brekky), settle some parking stuff for the car, put on a face mask while watching tv, rearrange some furniture, etc. and if baby decides she wants out in the middle of my to-do list, then all the better.

figure if i don't sit around here waiting for something to happen, that something may happen quicker. murphy's law, ain't it? will let you know how that goes.

the hubby has this mathematical theory that he says points to today being THE day. just so i don't jinx it, i won't put it up here yet... but his logic is that the daughter of 2 engineers must follow a geometric or arithmetic progression to some extent, no? yes, yes, i realise this is all beginning to sound a bit like that tv serial - "numb3rs".. only difference, you won't find us using the first principle to find the limits of anything. too cheem and it's been far too long since i've been an engineer for all that!