Random Thoughts

So, I was looking at my wallpaper on my office computer (which is a picture of the 2 of us on the wedding day) and my mind started wandering.

I started thinking about the wedding day itself, and it was really such a blessed day that I really couldn't ask for more. The weather was beautiful, the church turned out well... and everyone who was supposed to make it did. Ok, save Jonas who finally did manage to make it out!

I remember leading up to the wedding that I had told everyone that knowing me, I probably wouldn't feel anything at the wedding ceremony. This was based off of my experience at my baptism. I had been told by so many people that they felt a warmth, a presence, something amazing during their baptism and they were brought to tears. Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that I'm pretty emotional, I can cry at practically any tv show (I can, but I'm also pretty good at holding it in).. so of course, I expected to be bawling my eyes out at the baptism. But fast forward to the day, NOTHING. All I can remember was feeling really disappointed, tired, hot and sweaty. I just couldn't believe I felt absolutely nothing on such a serious, big occasion.

So yeah, I was all set to not feel anything during the Church ceremony. I had set myself up so that I wouldn't be disappointed. But, amazingly enough, it was a beautiful experience. I was calm as calm can be (which for me is amazing), but when I saw Kale at the end of the aisle, it finally hit me how lucky I was. He was shaking (sorry to blow your cover, hon) and that just sorta reminded me of the gravity(in a good way) of the whole event!

When it came to the vows, man, just looking at him blew me away.. and yes, I was surprised to hear myself choke up. So now I have the emotion, snot and all on tape for years and years to come.

My one regret was not saying a bunch of different things during the toast. I had practised all these things in my head to say on my wedding day (as Dawn said, I've been planning my wedding since I was 12).. but when it came to the crunch, it's amazing how your mouth has a mind of its own, and the words just roll out. All I remember thinking was that I should thank everyone for being there.. and the gratitude to everyone was the one thing I remember being overwhelming.

But in hindsight.. I really should have said thank you to 2 other very important people..
1) God
For without him, Kale and I would never have met. I would never have ended up in Stanford, nor Jane's couch, nor ME310. It's funny how your whole life you hear the saying that things happen for a reason, but when it happens to you, you firmly believe that everything DOES happen for a reason. And I know I couldn't even begin to fathom what else he has in store for us.

2) Kale
I know it's probably the most cliched statement in the book, but he really makes me a better person. He brings out the stable, sensible side in me, and tolerates my nonsense! I've finally become one of those irritating people who, when asked "how do you know he's the one?" answers "you just know"..yup, yup, i'm guilty. It's funny how you awaken to the realisation that there's only 1 person in the whole wide world you'd want to spend your life with. Sure, I know I'm on honeymoon mode right now, so whatever I say is probably shrouded in blissful naivete.. but what the heck, let me be a hopeless romantic for a month or 2.. at least till the December wedding! =)
I really am so lucky to have him in my life.. and for that I am eternally, eternally grateful!

Ok, well, enough of the mush.. should get my thoughts back on work.. =( Till my next random thought..